More Blessing Ceremonies

Many people who do not practice a religious tradition often long for spiritual or secular ways to honor life passages. Together we can create a ceremony with friends or family coming together to acknowledge the birth of a child, the passing of a loved one, or any of the many transition we experience.

For example

• a circle of women coming together to honor and give strength to a pregnant woman can be an alternative (or supplement) to a traditional baby shower.  
• A rite of passage for a woman or women experiencing the "change of life" that menopause brings can be a powerful and memorable experience. 
• A memorial service can honor the loved in ways that reflect his or her life and beliefs, and the needs of the family.
  

Here is an example:
 
Mother-To-Blessings are inspired by Blessingways, sacred Native American rituals.  A Blessing ceremony for a pregnant woman is an alternative to a baby shower (although you can do both for a mother in need). It is a gathering to honor a woman who will be giving birth, usually created by a circle of women friends and perhaps family, to help her feel powerful and healthy for the birthing ahead. You give strength, love and support.

The Blessing creates a circle of support for the woman giving birth. She sits on a "throne," a chair at the host's home we have decorated. We create a throne not only to honor her, but to help her accept the feeling of being taken care of. For so many women and mothers, asking for help and accepting it is hard -- even when she knows that with rest and health, she can be a better mother to her child and helpmate to her partner.

Perhaps we will ....

• create something for the mother-to-be to have with her at the birth, infused with our strength and good wishes ... 
• perhaps we each bring a bead and string together an anklet for her to wear, 
•  fill a small pouch with personal tokens like shells and stones,
• create a collage of pictures and words
• brush her hair ... oil and massage her shoulders, arms and legs ... bathe her feet in warm water and rose petals, and dry them in cornmeal. 
• share stories of strength, creation, and love.
• sing songs, read poems.
• make a paper mache belly mask and decorate it for her to enjoy long after the birth.
• create a "birth canal": an arch made of our hands, which she travels through with ease and joy as we sing, whisper or shout our blessings.
• And of course, we share food together! We may also bring her gifts of food to take home for her freezer for the days following the birth.

Preparing for the circle: those who want to host the blessing circle meet with me a few weeks in advance of the date, which is usually two or three weeks prior to her due date. We talk about what elements from above might work, and perhaps create a few particular to your circle of friends and the woman being honored. We put together a draft, which we email a time or tow til we get it right. You send out invites and RSVPs and we're done! If you have a host who is already comfortable leading, you can do this yourself; or if you prefer, I can attend and lead the ceremony.

This is a poem popular at Mother Blessings:

Willow TreeI am a willow tree,
Strong, yet fluid

graceful.
I can bend with the wind,
but my roots are tough,
indestructible.
Opening to birth my child
is flowing with the wind:
from a soft and gentle breeze
to a stormy gale
back to a soft and gentle breeze.
My body is strong, but flexible.
It is my friend, it knows how to open.
I am a friend to my body
eating well, walking, and loving myself.
I shall birth safely, freely, openly . . .
among my loved and trusted ones.
I am the willow, flexible
beautiful
resilient
endowed with the power of surrender
to the wind rustling through my leaves,
my branches.
My roots reach deep into Mother Earth
Anchored in Her strength
I bring forth life
In joy!

by Bonnie Anderson